The Father-Son Relationship

In my book, “Seeds of the Guardian,” Kodi struggles with hard thoughts concerning his father, Hess. Hess is not at all a bad man, and in many ways has been a very good father, is a loving husband to Kodi’s mother, and has taught Kodi many valuable life skills. Even so, Hess has been unwilling to provide the traditional familial blessing that allows Kodi to leave home, lead his own life, and guarantee his inheritance. Leaving home without blessing is considered unlucky, rebellious, and a disavowing of the family. There are a number of reasons why Hess has hesitated to do this despite Kodi’s maturity. Wise Sage Curdoz, who himself grew up with an even tougher father, helps Kodi to process some of his emotions concerning Hess.

The father-son relationship is one theme among many in my book series, “Heirs to the Taxiarch.” We find that several of the important male characters have fathers whose unsatisfactory relationships with their sons have contributed to their sons’ “issues.”

A quote in “Psychology Today” states the value of fatherhood: What goes on between the father and son--and what does not go on between them--is surely the most important determinant of whether the boy will become a man capable of giving life to others or whether he will go through life ashamed and pulling back from exposure to intimacy with men, women, and children. (1993, Frank Pittman.)

A different quote from the website “Psychalive” perfectly expresses what Kodi and some of the other men will go through over time: As men face the truth about their father-son bond, they will experience both pain and liberation. As they make their way through this emotional labyrinth, it can become a true “rite of passage.”  The son can emerge with a stronger sense of his identity and a solid sense of his own masculinity.  The son can come to feel more integrated as a man and perhaps willing to see his father more realistically, with both positive and negative traits. (2016, Deryl Goldenberg)

In my story, some of these important male characters will find father-like ‘substitutes,’ on their journey. Curdoz himself finds himself playing such a role, not an uncommon one for the Sages, but he is actually surprised when he realizes the importance of it.

In large measure the men in the series help grow each other through a camaraderie that, in part, makes up for what they needed and didn’t get from their fathers.