The Theme of Parental Blessing
This is a short passage from “Seeds of the Guardian”
…“I’m not arguing with you anymore about it. I swear when I come home in the fall, you can go to Amerro then. You must do this for me one last time. One last time, I swear it, Kodi! You know I don’t like leaving your mother without good, solid help she can depend on. Besides, you’re still young…”
Kodi’s anger crossed over into powerful resentment. If it were not for all the other good in his life it would have been very easy for the resentment to turn into hate. But he could never hate his father. Even so, he had sworn to himself the other day if his father returned and put off the Blessing once more, he would leave anyway and disavow his inheritance. He hardly cared anymore what bad luck he might incur by such a decision. He looked into his father’s eyes, matching the sternness there with his own. In spite of the chill air he felt steam rise from a hot face…
In the above, Kodi is dreaming. Negative thoughts can certainly affect one’s sleep, can they not? As described in my previous blog, the character Kodi struggles with Hess, his father. What we find here specifically is the theme of parental ‘blessing.’ In fact, ‘blessing’ of sundry kinds recurs from time to time in my fantasy series. Just how important is this particular theme of parental blessing?
We find parental blessing or rites of passage to be prominent themes in virtually all religions and cultures. It is important. How important is it?
Character Curdoz the Sage knows exactly how important ‘blessing’ is. Here are his thoughts when the twins, Kodi and sister Lyndz, finally received the parental blessing from their mother, acting on behalf of their absent father:
…Thankfully, with Elisa’s formal Familial Blessing, at least they would not experience the depression and doubts he himself did for long years. Such self-doubts about their place and purpose could cause failure at a critical point. They needed to go forth in the world as equals to the ones who bore and raised them. Conflict was the partial result of unblessed, insecure people attempting to alter their world to make themselves feel more secure. And such alterations usually resulted in suffering...
Curdoz had been reflecting, too, on the fact that he himself left home against his father’s wishes and without the formal blessing, and how it affected him negatively. As we find, Curdoz, though a middle-aged man with great spiritual and temporal authority as a Sage, continued even in his maturity to suffer from memories of his father.
In the Kingdom of Solanto, the formal parental blessing is traditional, has both spiritual and legal implications, and guarantees one’s inheritance. It is considered unlucky and rebellious to leave home without the formal parental blessing. It usually occurs around the age of 16, which is traditional adulthood in Solantine society. Kodi and Lyndz were close to 19 and still had not received the blessing from their stern father. There were reasons behind their father Hess’s particular hesitation—certain ‘fears’ for their future which he possibly foresaw, especially that of Kodi, rather than a really bad father’s desire to maintain long-term, obsessive ‘control’ over his children. Hess is really acting more out of a deep-seated sense of protection. But Curdoz makes it plain later to Kodi that despite the reasons, it was an error in Hess’s judgement to withhold blessing for so long. Kodi is behind where he should be in his manhood journey, and this is attributable directly to Hess not allowing Kodi the freedom to leave home and follow his desires years before.
Kodi’s mother is the one who provides the blessing on behalf of their father who is away on another exploratory journey. Kodi is grateful, of course, as it is long overdue. Though he has some regret that it is not his father performing the words of the blessing, that regret goes away in time, particularly through close conversations with Curdoz. For twin sister Lyndz, her mother’s blessing will launch her slowly but surely towards a life of heroism and leadership. The fact it was her mother saying the words very likely made a bigger difference altogether in her case. Kodi was very ready to leave home. Lyndz was not at all ready. But her mother telling her she was both ready and capable allowed Lyndz to grow soon into a strong and fearless woman.